August 12, 2025

Recently, I’ve come to a realization that I might be falling back into a habit of pessimism. I suspect it’s because of certain circumstances and possibly some relationships that I have that caused me to think like a doomer.

I definitely have a strong habit and wired pessimism flowchart that I can fall back onto in my weaker moments. Probably because of upbringing and certain experiences.

There was a time when that wasn’t the case.

Memory Start

A book

I remember reading the book called “Learned Optimism” by Martin Seligman. The only thing I can recall about it now is the example that they used. There was a person in who was faced in a devastating scenario: their lover was terminally ill.

In scenario A, the person was so distraught about it that their life went into disarray. It affected their mental health and their physical health because they were so worried. Eventually, their lover passed and the person was understandably very upset by it.

In scenario B, the person took an optimistic perspective. I don’t quite remember what happened, but essentially they tried to maintain a positive attitude. The outcome was the same. But during their time together, they took care of themselves and maybe they even used their remaining time with their lover to cherish them.

Obviously, there was nothing that the person could do if their lover was terminally ill. But because they maintained an optimistic outlook, they were able to keep themselves in better shape mentally and physically. And for their lover who passed away eventually, maybe they were able to pass in peace knowing that their lover would be okay without them around. This is definitely a gross oversimplification of what I remember about the book, but the point stands.

The Effect

It did leave a big effect on me for a while. I reassessed my psyche and wondered if maybe I was the one holding myself back. I did have low confidence in myself at the time. I was 20. I also grew up around some people that made me feel like I would never amount to anything extraordinary. So I tried to adopt that perspective in my life for a while.

So what did it accomplish for me? It didn’t land me a job or get me a girlfriend. At least probably not initially. But once I started to get in the habit of optimism, my confidence was boosted. I started to believe that I was capable of more. If things didn’t go the way I expected them to, I tried not to get to hung up about it.

Maybe the subtle effect that book had and those little changes in my thinking habits were part of the reason things did eventually start to go my way. I went back to school, I tried getting certifications in Salesforce, I tried reaching out for opportunities that I didn’t believe would have any meaningful return, etc. Rather than stopping myself before I started for x, y, and z reasons.

What I Think About It

I came back from a dinner with a friend who had a particularly optimistic attitude. His energy was contagious to the point that I found myself feeling better about my own situation. I think I’ve forgotten how to be optimistic and I ought to get that back for myself.

Sometimes life feels overwhelming and daunting that we are intimidated by it. The weight of life is heavy because the possibilities are infinite. But you know what that means? The possibilities are infinite. You and I are capable of anything. It might not happen in one or two years, but who knows how it might pay off.

If you have dreams of becoming an actor/actress, why not try and pursue it? Now this doesn’t mean throw caution to the wind and uppity outta your home to New York to live in a 2 bedroom apartment that you’d be splitting with 20 other people (apparently something people do). Additionally, that doesn’t mean A-list actor/actress is the only acceptable outcome.

You might be get to be in one indie film that only becomes a cult classic 20 years later when you’ve gotten out of the game. But damn that would be cool to have in your lore. Maybe all that experience helps you support and give direction to your child who inherits your dreams and passion for cinema.

I guess the point is, I really could go on and on forever about the possibilities. And even if all you could manage for the rest of your life is one job as an extra in a one forgotten film, that’s still more than you might’ve thought you were capable of. And who knows what effect that would have on you.

End of Yapping

So yea. That’s all I have to say about that. I’ve somewhat inspired myself to take my passions I call “hobbies” more seriously and just give it an honest effort to see where it goes. Hopefully you were able to get something out of this, and sorry if the formatting was incomprehensible, I did kind of write this out in one go. Anywho… ciao for now. ✌️